Graham is 6 weeks old today. It is crazy that six weeks has passed. I know all moms say that but it really feels like only a couple of weeks have passed since we were a family of three.
In six weeks, I have learned a whole lot about managing expectations....
I expected that I would be recovered from my c-section and out running today, settled into some sort of routine with Graham and could say that we feel like we couldn't imagine life before him, that we would be sleeping more, I would be cooking dinner/cleaning and managing the house like before.
The reality is...my incision is still tender at times, I am horribly out of shape and walking while pushing 40 pound (30 lbs Peyton, 10lbs Graham) stroller is exhausting and I don't think I could even run to the mailbox. I very much remember life before Graham...lots of sleep, free time and just easy. And I am in no way cooking and due to the generosity of friends we have been beyond blessed with meals up to last week so I haven't had to worry about that until now. I in no way have time to do much cleaning (it is more like doing the bare minimum) or doing anything besides caring for Peyton and Graham....a shower is a major accomplishment and my hair hasn't been out of a ponytail more than a handful of times (and those times were due to family or newborn pictures).
But....in spite of the craziness/business and new reality that we have, I am learning more and more about my need for a daily and consistent dependence on God and remembering His sovereignty in my life. A dear friend always tells me, "nothing is a surprise to God...He isn't sitting up in heaven asking how did that happen." God knew that life would be crazy, He knew that I would have a hard time adjusting, He knew what life would be like with two and He knew I could handle it...IF I depended on Him and sought Him daily! So, as insane as these six weeks have been for various and many reasons, I do not count it as loss/failure but as a growing opportunity to become a better follower of my Saviour!
Now to precious Graham and what is going on with him...
- For a variety of reasons I am no longer breastfeeding so Graham has been on formula since 4 weeks. I managed to pump enough milk that he had a bottle of breast milk a day until five weeks. I am conflicted on how I feel about stopping...some days I am relieved, and others feel guilty and then others feel sad about not having that bonding time with Graham....but know that for a wide variety of reasons it was the best decision for me, my family and Graham and it was one made with counsel of my family and after prayer.
- He is a chubby guy! He eats about 3-4 ounces (mostly 4) every three hours on the dot during the day and only goes about 5 hours (if we are lucky) at night. I really thought that with the switch to formula he would go longer between feedings but that is not the case. I am hoping he will start to sleep more at night because we are all very tired.
- I believe he suffers from some sort of reflux. He has awful wet burps, wet sounding hiccups, cries about 30 minutes to an hour after eating, constantly wants his pacifier and always wants to be upright at all times.
- The possibility of reflux has meant that he is no longer an easy going baby. Right around 4 weeks he started getting cranky, colicky and just plain miserable. He fusses a bunch, doesn't like to sleep laying down at all during the day, hates to play on his play mat, be in the sling or car seat or do anything besides sit upright. A big change from how Peyton was as a baby.
- Graham does LOVE his bath time! That is one thing to make him super happy.
- Another thing that makes him happy is his sister. Graham loves to hear Peyton talk and always turns his head towards her and even smiled at her today. Peyton does not seem to be as impressed with him but overall she is pretty tolerant of him.
- I did get the first smile a week or so ago and when he isn't being cranky and you work hard you can get one out of him.Peyton seems to be able to get him to smile the easiest.
- My favorite time with Graham is when we get the time to nap together. He loves sleeping on my chest and if I can get both kids to nap at the same tie I normally have Graham sleeping soundly n my chest. He sleeps so well like that and I love it!
Graham we love you and are praying that you work through whatever is making you so fussy! Know that we are trying and hate to see you so miserable!