Thursday, May 3, 2012

63 days...and finally DONE!!!

Today marks day 63 of John's shutdown at work which has meant 7 days straight of 13 hours days. He did manage to get one day off at Easter and then three days he was able to come home 3 hours earlier BUT for the most part he has been putting in some long and tiring days at work and I have been a single parent. 

Leading up to this turnaround, I was nervous and incredibly worried how I was going to manage the normal day to day, plus dinner, baths and bedtimes (they are in bed when he gets home unless I keep them up which happens more for Peyton than Graham) and then still do it all on the weekends when we have no activities planned. I was scared and seriously doubting my ability to manage. But....I can has gone MUCH better than expected! 

There has been some seriously really rough days but for the most part we have adjusted and are doing pretty well. And what has held us through this was the continued dependence and reliance on Him. I prayed a TON, read verses and reflected on them as much as I could, and daily prayed that He would step in when I was stumbling or getting tired. Yes, there were days where I was really frustrated, not doing praying and being a selfish/crying baby but when I look at the time as a whole, I can say that what has been interesting about this whole experience is how much stronger I am....when I am submissive and dependent on Him....and when we come out on the other end of things or situations I am much more confident in my role as a wife and mother. It has been so true that the challenge of living here and the difficult times has caused tremendous growth in many areas. I have learned so much about myself, how I process things, my feelings/emotions, strengths and weaknesses and am more conscious of my thoughts and perspectives on things and for all of that...I can say that I am thankful for this time. 

I have had some wonderful times of reflection, mediation and quietness which I didn't think would happen with two kids. And I have also had intense amounts of fun hanging out with both of them. We have had many spur of the moment trips to the beach, totally casual dinners...and sometimes cereal for dinner, and at the end of this my relationship with both of them has gotten stronger.

And I was prepared for it to last until we left for our vacation in two weeks. The other day was a really long day at our house and I was tired, overwhelmed, frustrated and so I took a moment and just prayed for some help, strength, perserverance. Within minutes of saying that prayer, I got a text from John that said, "I guess your call into the boss worked, off this weekend and 40 hour weeks until we leave." Not really the same boss he was referring to but "the boss" certainly answered a tired mommy's prayer! So thankful this is done and praying that it really is done and he doesn't have to go back in!

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