The other night on the way home from shopping at Lulu's I just started crying. I don't know what set it off but I wanted to go home right then and not to our home at Ras Tanura. I wanted to go home to League City.
I sat there trying to hide my tears from Peyton who was thankfully watching movies on the iPad and just cried. I mostly was crying for normalcy again. I was sad, mad and annoyed that we had just spent 5 hours total driving to the grocery store, shopping and then driving back and that the trip was all dependent on a taxi and then even if we had a car it would be dependent on when John was home because I didn't have the freedom to just go by myself. I was sad that I didn't have as much freedom as I used to and that shopping for food is no long an errand but a big event. I was sad. I was crying to myself and then I started having a honest conversation with God. I told Him I was sad, I told Him I was annoyed and frustrated and this is what He told me....
Look at your precious children. Look how they are handling this. They are adapting, they are happy, they get to see their dad for lunch, the whole evening and are adjusting well. Peyton knows it takes a hour plus to get places and doesn't whine and cry about it and is patient and really well behaved in the car, she didn't do that back in League City. When we are out shopping she listens, stays with me and doesn't throw fits because she knows it is a new place, different culture and I need her to listen. She has adapted to eating whatever I make for her because I refuse to make a second meal for her here. She knows that we have to take taxis or busses places or walk and she has to sit in her stroller and she does it without protesting like before. She knows she has to put sunscreen on every morning before we leave the house. She knows and reminds me that I have to put my "dress" on if we go shopping. She is positive about meeting new people and doesn't care if they are older, younger, different than she is. She seeks after them, introduces herself right away and finds some common ground to go off of. She is not insecure, she is not afraid and she just goes after meeting people with enthusiasm. Graham is content. He sleeps in his car seat or just sits and looks around. He hated his car seat before. He takes his bottles in the car seat when we are driving and before only would have them if you were holding him. He will not scream when he has a wet diaper while we are shopping as if he knows we just can't change it right away. When we are out, he falls asleep on his own and without being rocked because he knows we can't.
Learn from your children. Be like a child and adapt. The things that are important are all they care about...food, clothing, shelter and love. I have all of those things. Yes, being here in Saudi...they are all different but they are here and He has provided food, clothing, shelter and love for us.
So, I need to suck it up and be like my children and just adapt. There is no point in wishing for how things were or what is "normal" to me. This is my new normal. This is my life. I need to figure it out and just be like Peyton and Graham and adjust with NO WHINING!