Sunday, June 5, 2011

Warning: Big Vent Post

Consider this a warning....this post is going to be full of complaining and venting...I need to get it off my chest....I need to remember this time so when things are good and we are settled I can look back and see how much God has worked here and in our lives. So, if you don't want to read my complaints....come back tomorrow.

I am tired of being here. I want to go home but I don't have a home to go back to. Yes our house hasn't sold but it is empty. I also am not in possession of our passports as the company has them to process of residence visa and then a visa to let us exit/enter the Kingdom as we please. I am stuck. Stuck here and miserable.

I am tired of not having my stuff. I am tired of my dirty house because I still don't have my air shipment that has a vacuum. I am tired of not having crafts, toys, anything to entertain Peyton.

I am tired of being home ALL THE TIME! I want to go shopping, I want to explore but I am stuck at home. I can't take a taxi into the main shopping area because it is too expensive. I can't take the bus because I have two little kids and it is next to impossible. I spend all day, everyday inside a house that has nothing and I hate.

I hate the on camp taxi service (today at least). After trying to reserve a taxi earlier in the morning to take us to clinic at 9:45 AM, I was told to call back at 9:00 AM because it was too early. Call at 9:00 AM...oh...NO TAXIS available. Argue...get one to come at 10:00 AM....10:20 again...."sorry ma'm....on way. Arrives at 10:30 AM. Get the clinic 40 minutes late.

I hate the clinic right now. I have no ability to book appointments for myself and the kids so John has to do it for us. Had an appointment today for a medical evaluation that the company scheduled for us. Asked John to confirm that was for real (already went last week to have blood taken from all of us....including my two little kids....NOT FUN). Appointment was apparently for real. After dealing with the taxi I haul all my kids inside with car seats because I was not sure how long we would be and didn't want the taxi to wait and pay for it. Try to check in....they have NO appointment for us. Have no idea what I am talking about. Leave. Try to call taxi...busy taxi available. Wait for bus...wait for a hour. Bus arrives and drives us to stop closest to our house and I now carry Graham in his car seat and my diaper bag and try to convince Peyton to walk the 10 minutes home, instead she sits on the sidewalk and cries in the 107 degree heat. Finally get us all home.

I am tired of all the annoying paperwork/processes to get settled. Had to get a new temporary ID to replace my current temporary ID yesterday. Took a taxi,made it to ID office only to be completely ignored by the men at reception. Finally get them to acknowledge me...don't have the right certified copy of my passport. Call John and he comes to help and as soon as he arrives they are all so helpful to him and tell him to tell me what to do. Nice. I get to do it again in two weeks when our iqama comes in.

I am scared and mad that John will be at a training course 120 km away in the middle of the dessert from Sunday-Wednesday at the end of this month leaving me alone with the kids in a foreign country with no car, nothing in our house, no activities, no community.

I am frustrated because some of my big concerns that were addressed by recruiting/relocation adviser are actually still concerns. I specifically insisted that there was a full time pediatrician on our camp and not one that is only accessible at the main camp. I was told there was. Turns out there is...if you count one day a week as full time. There are several other doctors with some pediatric experience but not a pediatrician. I am mad about that.

I am frustrated because I brought up the transportation concern. I was told the buses ran ALL the time so I could easily go without the kids. They don't. The ones on the main camp do but not ours. There is only one a week that leaves after John gets home. And if I did take the kids I would have to be gone from 8-2:30 PM and would have to manage two kids, car seats and any purchases by myself and then walk the 10 minutes from the stop home with all my stuff. I was told that another option since we had car seats would be to rent a taxi for the afternoon/day and it was not expensive...$50 max. Well, for four hours the other day it was around $150. That is not cheap. It was $50 to drive one way to visit my friend 40 minutes away.

I am trying to remember that at one point in time I felt like this was God's plan for us. I am trying to remember that just because it is tough doesn't mean that it wasn't His will or that we aren't supposed to be here. I am trying to remember that tough times are times of growth and that none of this is a surprise to God. He is above the details of transportation and paperwork. I need to be depending on Him more than I am. I need to pray boldly. I need to seek comfort in Him. I need to remember that I am blessed. I have two healthy children, I have a house, my husband has a job, I have my health and I have a community of friends who love us and pray for us even if we don't live in the same country. I am blessed.

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